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@ Fort Nakamoto
2025-04-29 15:09:56
First of all:
The Fort Nakamoto team is already arguing over whose miner rig caused the outage.
(Spoiler: it was Chad. Chad overclocked the Gamma again.)
Phase 1️⃣: Panic
• Someone tries to zap a flashlight
• One guy attempts to run Starlink via bike generator
• We vote to eat the intern first (unanimous)
Phase 2️⃣: Survival
• Convert seed phrases into firewood
• Cold storage becomes actual cold storage
• Morale collapses when someone realizes their coffee grinder is electric
Phase 3️⃣: Innovation
• Rebuild mesh net with coat hangers and blind optimism
• Rebrand the bunker as “Open-Source Society v0.1”
• Launch the world’s first carrier pigeon Lightning relay (TXs take 4–6 business days)
Final outcome?
Still better uptime than Solana.
#FortNakamoto #TwoWeeksOfAnarchy #ZapBlackoutProtocol #SeedPhraseCampfire #MeshNetMadness #SatsOfflineStillSound #PigeonNodeBeta