@ gojiberra
2024-08-16 11:54:55
Larry had the perfect life, a beautiful wife, a mortgage, a dog. The only cloud on the horizon was his relationship to Linda. It was unstable. Linda thrived on rescuing others. Larry's problems had fulfilled all her needs in past years, but he felt like he was slipping into irrelevance as his fortunes improved.
It was Saturday morning and Larry had the garage door open, golden retriever lying basking in the morning sun.
"Honey, when are you going to get rid of this old motorcycle in the garage" Linda asked wandering into the garage from the kitchen.
"Linda, I'm going fix it and go on a road trip this fall" Larry replied shortly.
"Mmmkay, you said that last year too," said Linda.
"What about this old box of letters you have here on the shelf," Larry asked,changing the subject.
Linda: "oh, you can toss those. Here, into the trash."
Larry: "You're so quick to throw things away, Linda."
Linda: "i'm in a hurry to get to the bank, Larry, it's my Saturday to man the Drive-Thru" window
Larry: "ok, have fun 'manning' the drive thru."
"Very funny, Mister Biker Man, I have to save all you men from your financial problems," Linda gave Larry a thoughtless smooch and drove out of the garage.
Larry looked at Linda driving away, his unused Harley. He felt a sense of loss, loneliness, and the creeping onset of a mid-life crisis.
He picked up one of the yellowing letters out of the trash and opened it. They were love letters to Linda from an old boyfriend in prison. Larry read enough of the letters to be aware of the crime the ex-boyfriend had committed to fall from Linda's good graces: the jailbird had reformed.
In his deepening gloom, Larry prayed for help. Divine inspiration was not long in coming: Larry would become an irredeemable bad boy. By the afternoon, Larry had jump-started the Harley, dressed in his leather gear, bandana on, guns out. The biker jacket pinched in a few places, but he felt an exuberance flushing his skin. He knew what he had to do to get Linda back, even if he had to go to prison for it.
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At the bank, Linda surveyed out of the glass-drive through window. The horses and wagon on the bank logo reminded her of Billy the Kid. At times she caught herself worrying that she had some syndrome of mid-career bank tellers. She frequently found herself dreaming of a bank robbery to hold-up her daily humdrum of vacuum tubes, deposit envelopes and lollipops. Just maybe she was a modern day Marion the Librarian.
Her manager's voice cut through her musings: "Hold up, Linda, you're lost in a daydream"
"Oh hi, Grant," Linda answered.
He continued, "Linda, we sure do get a whole lot of men filing through here on Saturday with sundry credit score questions."
Faye at the mortgage desk piped up, "Linda can't go to the grocery store without bumping into the same men on 3 different aisles."
The manager: "Linda, you have another customer, there's a man on a Harley driving up to your window."
Linda spoke through the teller window mic, smile spreading across her face: "Hello Mr. Biker Man, how can I help you."
Larry replied through the drive-thru,"This is a hostage situation, Ms. Bank teller, come on out and get on the bike."
Linda replied, "Hold on, Larry, my shift is almost over"
The manager: "Is that your husband, Linda?"
Linda, "Yes, Larry has gone crazy, and it looks like it's either me or the bank burns down."
Manager: "Ok good, I won't dial 911. I'll fill in for you til 4 o'clock and maybe just one of these days i'll have your luck."
Larry's bike sounded like 101 trombones as he roared off into the sunset with Linda on the back, happy grin on his face that he once again figured out how to save Linda.