@ Dawn
2023-08-22 23:49:12
Its tough to figure out where to start when you’re someone who’s naturally full of doubt… but the white rabbit said ‘follow me’… I have written down pages of incohesive thoughts, ideas, and observations about many aspects nostr over the last several months, and this is my first attempt to organize some of that into something resembling order… Pretty sure I picked a dead horse topic… maybe because its safe… but if this doesn’t send me into hiding then maybe its groundwork for more if it’s not poorly received.
Here goes:
I generated my keys at the end of January, haphazardly experimenting with something that had come on my radar (thank you) like so many things before, pushed by curiosity and a feeling that it was right. I had no idea I was stumbling into a whirlwind of clever minds and amazing talent scrambling to build the tools to change the course of online communication as we know it. That sounds overdramatic but anyone who has spent a bit of time here or worked on things understands that it is not. I showed up wildly unprepared and definitely out of my element. I live my life in movement, I rarely sit still for longer than 10 minutes, and I’m quiet. My technical know-how stretches only as far as I need it to for the situations that life brings my way. I’ll admit, I am pretty clever, but this was going to require much more knowledge than I had in my toolbox. Clients? Relays? Keys? NIPs? Microapps? Each worthy of its own assessment at some point and all critical to understanding nostr. After figuring out that this is more than a “social network”, things clicked. I started noticing what was actually happening in this space. It was and remains incredible. I figured out how to experiment with some of the many awesome new tools. Devs wanted ideas, input, and suggestions… I have no shortage of ideas, so I started engaging a bit… more than I ever have anywhere aside from maybe FB where life keeps me beholden. Much to my surprise, my suggestions were met with welcoming arms. I was sold. Months have passed since my nostr epiphany moment but I still find myself floored on a nearly daily basis by the kindness, passion, unexpected interaction, incredible advancements, and the elusive mystery of the missing note. I’m still trying new stuff and marveling at how far all of this has come in such a short amount of time.
I’ve never been one of the cool kids, so the weirdness of nostr is a perfect fit. A lot of what draws me back every day isn’t what the average person may be looking for in their social media experience, but I think it might be what they need to lead a more fulfilling life, they just don’t realize it yet. It is true, the masses want simple UX with pretty colors and lots of features that they don’t understand but are able to use. They want, as it’s been so nicely put recently, handholding, not just through onboarding but through every action they take, whether it be posting a note, finding people, seeing content, NOT seeing content, or simply keeping track of their stuff. But do they really? I question whether people really ‘want’ those things or if they have just been conditioned to expect them. I watch the people around me scroll mindlessly through short form vertical content set to the same tired audio tracks in hopes of finding one that brings them some joy. When they do, they share it with those around them. I watch them shuffle through hot topics in hopes of finding a cause to defend or one to demolish so they may feel that they are part of something. Everyone is just searching for a meaningful connection. Recently, I have gotten to watch what happens when I “real-world” some of my nostr moments, like making chimichurri, rattling on needlessly about tea bottles, or walking away from a conversation to get a picture of a train car that says “SNORT” on the side. It simultaneously bothers and inspires me to see the squinty-eyed reaction from those around me when I tell them about these things. These examples are barely the surface of the personal meaning I have found by engaging on nostr and there is very little I could ever do to get anyone to understand that. I’ve been brought to tears, I’ve dropped my phone in surprise, and I’ve spent hours thinking about how to solve problems that someone like me has no place trying to solve. It’s been profound and personal. It makes me want to be better and do better. It’s very difficult to convince anyone that social media can be something so different than what they are accustomed to. It sounds like snake oil. I know a lot of this has to do with the type of person I am, and a lot of this has to do with timing, community size, and the shared broader mindset of that community. Eventually, meaningful interaction for the individual will likely wain as the tools are built that provide ease of use, when content exists in a searchable format, and as larger numbers of people find reason to leave their current chosen environments adding to the overall volume of the space. In it though, there is a seedling worth fostering for as long as possible. Genuine connection is an evasive little thing in modern society and people are longing to be seen, heard, and to feel like they are part of something larger than themselves. I see it every day in their eyes and hear it in their stories. That delicate flower has laid some roots here and it would be a sad day to see that wither away.
I don’t think I would have assigned such meaning to my interactions without the effort required to engage in them. Right now, it takes some effort to find new people on nostr that entertain, educate, or inspire you but finding a specific person has become fairly easy. Basic content discovery is not nearly as difficult as it was a few months ago, with clients & apps supporting communities, hashtag movements, and trending models but it still requires some level of time investment to make use of those things. I think it’s in a great spot, at least for now. Keeping some level of personal responsibility in the forefront of discovery may have a greater benefit on the ecosystem than building towards a replication of the hollowness that so many people don’t even realize they want to escape. I’m not suggesting that it should remain difficult to find things that match an individual’s interests. Every idea should be considered and tried. I just hope that the social side of nostr lands in the sweet spot between conscientious effort & ease of use so that people can find some meaning in their communications again. This precarious balance between too much and not enough personal responsibility for the average user might be a lofty dream but I do believe it is one worth pursuing along side the freedom & censorship resistance that nostr builders aspire to achieve. Much of the freedom that has been lost is due to the willingness to sacrifice personal responsibility in exchange for safety and convenience. Along with it has gone the meaning that comes from effort and achievement that can only practicing accountability for one’s self can provide. I have so many more thoughts on personal responsibility for another time... maybe.