@ Subema
2025-02-16 21:54:41
As I grow older, I find myself often discovering things that I haven't understood before, or just see completely differently. Like with this fable of the toad and scorpion.
You know, the classic where scorpion needs to get across the river, and asks the toad for help, promising not to sting. The toad refuses at first, pointing out that scorpion's sting would kill them both. But scorpion argues that would be illogical - why would it sting if that meant its own death? The toad, convinced by this logic, agrees to help. Halfway across, scorpion stings anyway, and as they both sink, toad asks "why?" Scorpion simply answers "It's my nature."
That leads me to my scorpion sighting. I have somewhat stronger libido and given the circumstances, I usually situate myself in the submissive position in both married and online life. When I am not ventilating or getting these things out in some way, it usually leads to my growing frustration that seriously hinders my usual life. And in those trying times I usually tell myself, "screw that, I don't like this, I don't like how that makes me feel, it sucks, why does it have to hurt so much" (well, I don't think 'hurt' as I have been indoctrinated by the society that men don't process feelings this way, but I think if I had a therapist, they would want me to spell it like that). Let's not go to the subspace again, it's silly space. Sometimes it gets really dark...but then comes the climax, like literally, and suddenly everything is forgiven and (almost) forgotten. And all is well.
Let's just not go there next time, avoid being burned again, I keep saying to myself. And these days submissive scorpion in my head just silently waits for my monologuing toad to finish defending ourselves. It knows that it needs only one chance so I cave in, while toad needs to defend my sanity every day. So one day, I will bring scorpion to cross the river with me again. And it will again promise that this time it will be ok. And we will both pretend like we believe that, so the play can go on. And it will eventually sting me, because we both yearn for unreachable things.
And next day I will again see scorpion on the river, not wooing me, no, we are beyond that, it knows it just needs to wait before I come back for the poison I need.As I grow older, I find myself often discovering things that I haven't understood before, or just see completely differently. Like with this fable of the toad and scorpion.
You know, the classic where scorpion needs to get across the river, and asks the toad for help, promising not to sting. The toad refuses at first, pointing out that scorpion's sting would kill them both. But scorpion argues that would be illogical - why would it sting if that meant its own death? The toad, convinced by this logic, agrees to help. Halfway across, scorpion stings anyway, and as they both sink, toad asks "why?" Scorpion simply answers "It's my nature."
That leads me to my scorpion sighting. I have somewhat stronger libido and given the circumstances, I usually situate myself in the submissive position in both married and online life. When I am not ventilating or getting these things out in some way, it usually leads to my growing frustration that seriously hinders my usual life. And in those trying times I usually tell myself, "screw that, I don't like this, I don't like how that makes me feel, it sucks, why does it have to hurt so much" (well, I don't think 'hurt' as I have been indoctrinated by the society that men don't process feelings this way, but I think if I had a therapist, they would want me to spell it like that). Let's not go to the subspace again, it's silly space. Sometimes it gets really dark...but then comes the climax, like literally, and suddenly everything is forgiven and (almost) forgotten. And all is well.
Let's just not go there next time, avoid being burned again, I keep saying to myself. And these days submissive scorpion in my head just silently waits for my monologuing toad to finish defending ourselves.
It knows that it needs only one chance so I cave in, while toad needs to defend my sanity every day. So one day, I will bring scorpion to cross the river with me again. And it will again promise that this time it will be ok. And we will both pretend like we believe that, so the play can go on. And it will eventually sting me, because we both yearn for unreachable things.
And next day I will again see scorpion on the river, not wooing me, no, we are beyond that, it knows it just needs to wait before I come back for the poison I need.