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@ Dezibel
2025-02-12 17:10:42
So, picture this: Me, the Bitcoin maxi who once thought dragging my friend out of financial mediocrity was a *noble* act, back in 2020 I helped a friend onto an exchange and told him to buy bitcoin, and hold it for 5 years, and even better keep dca’ing each month.
Fast forward to 2025, more specifically 5 minutes ago, and I’m asking him, “So, buddy… still hodling that Bitcoin, right, did you keep buying?”
His answer? “I bought XRP.”
*XRP??? The crypto equivalent of adopting a three-legged racehorse with asthma. The token that makes even *Dogecoin* look like a Nobel Prize-winning economic thesis. I nearly choked on my “after dinner” 🥃 . “**REALLY?**” I spat, my voice dripping with the kind of contempt usually reserved for people who unironically say “moon lambo.” “So instead of Bitcoin—you know, digital gold, the asset that *literally* prints generational wealth—you went with… *XRP?* The blockchain version of a participation trophy from a middle school science fair?”
Him, shuffling his feet like a kid caught licking windows: “I know.”
**Moral of the story?** Bitcoin separates the men from boys. XRP isn’t an investment—it’s a cry for help, a public admission that you’d rather light money on fire than read a single whitepaper. It’s the crypto you “buy” when you’re allergic to gains and think SEC lawsuits are a *fun* plot twist.
And let’s be real: If you’re still holding XRP in 2025, your portfolio isn’t “left wimping in the dust”—it’s actively writing a Yelp review from the ninth circle of hell. Congrats! You didn’t just miss the Bitcoin boat. You drowned in a puddle of Ripple’s delusional Kool-Aid. 🚣♂️☠️
Remember: When life gives you XRP, it’s because you *asked* for a lesson in humiliation. And boy, did you *earn* it.