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@ Raasclart! inpc
2025-02-24 12:34:15
I’m in a weird space of nostalgia. 24 hours without any pharmaceutical help for mood and anxiety problems. As mentioned previously, I’ve been boshing RRSIs and the like for 10 plus years. They’re very addictive to be honest. For context I’ve given up nicotine, amphetamines, crack cocaine and heroin in the past so I think I’m a decent benchmark for a drug’s addictive qualities...
Top, without question was nicotine. Not for the side effects but the fact it took many years to kick and a lot of on/off usage. I can’t remember the last time I smoked a cigarette so it’s been quite a few years now. Heroin was fun…. Well if you call fun having a horrible case of flu where you also hallucinate, that sort of fun.
But RRSIs have been very tough and it’s only been 24 hours (after slowly reducing the dose over 6 months). I feel pretty shit to be honest but I’ll get through today. I’ve also quit Pregabalin today which, as I understand, is an anti-psychotic so I can’t rule out the possibility of psychopathy today… I tried once before and it came close to ending my relationship with my wife (not for psychopathy I hasten to add, just an absolutely foul, unstable mood). This time I’ve taken the process a lot slower.
I’ve been trapped in a weird feeling of nostalgia these last 24 hours, it’s odd as it is being trapped inside the perception of a piece of music. I don’t think I can describe the feeling well but the track is from a cassette I had as a kid. The true origins of the tape I don’t know. I taped it from a friend who told me it was from the club we frequented in 1991, a place called Slammers. Still without doubt the best club I ever went to. It was tiny, like not much bigger than an average house in the UK, in fact probably smaller, depends on your perception of house sizes. I’m going by turn of the century terraced houses common in the UK. The club coincided with a particularly good run of ecstasy tablets in the UK. The downstairs of the club was truly mental. There were no lights at all. Pitch black, the only lighting being from the turntables and mixer. It was nuts. It was a life changing experience. Being broke I only ever went a handful of times but the idea the tape originated from there was good enough for me. The in house DJ crew were the Get Down Crew from Bethnal Green (at least I think this is what I remember). Namely two guys by the names of Wigs and Easy T. The music played was a lot of what paved the way for Jungle in 1993 and the term Jungle Techno was being used by us around this time. Now the tape may not have been Wigs and Easy T, part of me wonders if it was DJ Rap (Or Fabio???). Whist the tunes were great, the mixing wasn’t amazing and reminiscent of Rap’s style (sorry DJ Rap!) but it exists in my memory, a very real artefact.
So this tape was another source for me to find records, most that I really liked I identified over the years but some eluded me. One was Virtual by The Black Dog (ironic), that I found on night online, probably a few glasses of wine in… And I now know that there were only 500 copies of that record made, copies go for around £100 these days. Worst is I actually nearly bought it at the time but the dude in the record shop said it probably wasn't my thing!?!?!?!? Even back in 1991 the song sounded like some ancient artefact. Such a warm noise. “World World World, I sit in my room imagine the future”. Damn.
The other track I only recently found out, and it was on the B Side from a group I already loved and had some of their records. However, unlike The Black Dog, it’s not rare, just overlooked as the group were more known for their Hip Hop output. It was The Cash Crew all along?! Fuck!!!! Now since finding I play on my streaming show a lot and given I’d listened so much on cassette too, I know that record inside out!
Well no I don’t!??! After editing for a mixtape, I noticed layers of vocals I never knew existed and I’m also now trapped in this nostalgic frame and it feels immeasurably sad. The fact is I never actually heard that record in a club, despite it being on a tape that I help as an ultimate reference point for a moment in time that I never actually experienced. That sums up the feeling of coming off RRSIs. Maybe this all sounds frivolous but music has always make up a core of my identity, more so than being a fucking spastic ever did.
Now I own the record, I am old as fuck and millions of miles away from a moment that never existed. I can’t explain.
Cash Crew – HUMP
https://video.mxtthxw.art/w/dQHPt96bXwMP8Ggyjrcq8x