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@ Unfiltered Faith
2025-01-13 17:47:59Trauma has a way of completely upending our lives. One second, everything feels like it’s on track, and the next you’re standing in the middle of a mess. Your world gets turned upside down, and nothing feels certain. I know that feeling all too well. The pain, the doubt, the confusion. Will you ever find your way back to something that feels stable again? The hardest part of trauma isn’t just dealing with the pain. It’s trying to figure out where God is in all of it.
When life has shattered your sense of security, when you’ve lost your trust in people or in a church that once felt like home, it’s hard to see how faith fits into the picture anymore. I get it. I’ve been there. Whether it’s because of abuse, betrayal, heartbreak, or even something like a divorce or unexpected loss, trauma can make your faith feel like it’s been ripped out from under you.
For me, that sense of losing everything wasn’t just a sudden thing. It was more like the slow unraveling of trust. It started with little things: a judgmental comment here, a hurtful glance there. But over time, it became something so big I couldn’t ignore it. At some point, the hurt from others became so loud that I couldn’t even hear my own prayers anymore. I felt lost, confused, and alone. Like everything I had built my faith on - everything I believed to be true - had been shaken to its core. The church I grew up in, the people I trusted, the God I thought I knew, they all seemed distant, unreachable, unloving.
The Struggle to Trust Again
One of the hardest things about rebuilding your faith after trauma is wondering Can I trust God again? When everything has gone wrong and you’ve been hurt by the very people who were supposed to support you, it’s natural to question everything, especially your faith.
For me, this struggle started when I experienced deep hurt in the church. A fellow church member who I trusted violated that trust in ways I can’t even put into words. It shook me to the core. I had always been told that church was a safe place, a place to find healing and community. But when that safety was ripped away from me, and I felt exposed, vulnerable, and completely lost.
Then came the judgment. Not just from the people around me, but the way I felt God’s judgment in my own heart. I wondered, How could God love me after what happened? The shame I felt wasn’t just from the abuse I had gone through. It was made worse by my belief that I had somehow done something wrong. I had sinned in some way that made me unworthy of God’s love.
Trauma often leads us to question not just our circumstances, but our very worth. We start asking, Do I even matter? And when your faith feels so shook, those questions can leave you feeling even more disconnected. It feels like you’ve lost everything. The security, the trust, the sense of peace that you once had. And it can be hard to see how you could ever feel close to God again.
But guess what? It’s okay to ask those hard questions. It’s okay to feel like you don’t have all the answers. In fact, it’s in the wrestling, the doubt, and the messiness of life that faith often grows the most.
God Understands Your Pain
When you’re in the middle of trauma, its easy to feel like you’re facing it alone. I know the feeling of pain so heavy that it seemed like God was nowhere to be found. But it took me ten years to realize this: God gets it.
He really does.
Jesus Himself faced unimaginable pain. He was betrayed by His closest friends. He was abandoned in His darkest hour. He was falsely accused, beaten, and crucified. I can’t imagine a more painful, traumatic experience than that. But Jesus didn’t run from the pain. He entered into it. He didn’t look at our suffering from a distance; He walked right through it with us. He knows what it feels like to have everything ripped away, and He’s not afraid of your pain.
In reality, He’s closer than you think.
I love how Psalm 34:18 (NLT) puts it: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.” God is near to you, even in your brokenness. He understands what you’re feeling, and He’s not turned away by your hurt. You don’t have to hide your pain from Him. He’s there, sitting with you in the silence, in the grief, in the questions.
If you’re feeling like you’ve lost everything, I want to remind you that God is still with you. Even in the darkest moments, He is closer than you realize. You might not feel it right now, but that doesn’t mean He isn’t there.
It’s Okay to Ask Hard Questions
Faith isn’t about having all the answers. If anything, it’s about learning how to trust even when you don’t understand. If you’re in a season of doubt, don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t question God. I’ve spent so many hours wrestling with the big questions about life, God, and faith. It’s not easy. There are moments when you feel like you’re drowning in your doubts, when you wonder if God is even real, let alone good.
Asking hard questions doesn’t mean you’re losing faith. It means you’re seeking truth. And seeking truth is exactly what God wants us to do. Jesus didn’t shy away from hard questions. In fact, He welcomed them. When His disciples had doubts, He didn’t rebuke them. He encouraged them to keep seeking, keep asking, and keep trusting.
If you’re struggling, remember this: It’s okay to not have everything figured out. Faith is a journey, not a destination. And sometimes, the journey involves walking through the hard questions, the doubts, and the uncertainty. It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about holding onto hope, even when everything else feels uncertain.
God’s Love Is Unconditional
One of the hardest lies I believed after my trauma was that God’s love was conditional. I felt like I had messed up so badly that I didn’t deserve God’s love anymore. I thought that my failures, whether they were the mistakes I made, the hurt I endured, or the sins I struggled with, had somehow disqualified me from His love. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Romans 8:38-39 (NLT) says, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.” Nothing - hear me: nothing - can separate you from God’s love. Not your trauma. Not your mistakes. Not your doubts. God’s love for you isn’t based on how perfect you are or how well you follow the rules. It’s based on His nature. He is love, and He loves you, no matter what.
If you’re feeling unworthy, if you’re feeling like you’ve done too much wrong, please know, you are deeply, unconditionally loved by God. His love isn’t something you have to earn. It’s something He freely gives.
Rebuilding Takes Time
There’s no quick fix for rebuilding faith after trauma. There’s no easy formula. It takes time. It takes honesty. It takes grace. And make sure you remember, you don’t have to have it all together right now. And that’s okay.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT) says, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
As you heal, as you rebuild, you’ll begin to see how your pain can be used to comfort others. I’ve found that the biggest healing happens when we share our stories, when we let others walk with us through our pain. God doesn’t waste our suffering. He uses it to shape us, to grow us, and to help us reach out to others who are struggling in the same way.
You Are Not Alone in This Journey
If you’re walking through trauma and rebuilding your faith, I want you to hear this: You are not alone. I know it feels isolating. I know it feels like no one understands. But I want you to know that God is with you. Even when it feels like everything is falling apart, even when you can’t feel His presence, He is there.
You don’t have to walk through this alone. There is a community of people—like me, like you—who are on this journey together. We can be honest about our doubts, our pain, and our questions. Together, we can rebuild, one step at a time.
Take that first step, even if it’s small. Trust that God is with you in this journey, even when you don’t feel it. Let your pain become a part of your story, not the end of it. Because God is still good, and He’s still faithful, even in the dark.
You are loved. You are not alone. And there is hope.
Love,\ Faith