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@ BTC_Behaviorist
2023-07-27 08:31:19Benefit of Self-Recording 3: Discovering versatility
Some self-insights can't be deduced through introspection in the armchair. They can only be discovered through observation while acting in the world. One thing you might discover through self-recording is that you are more versatile than you thought.
What may have been holding you back are abstract and context-free descriptions of yourself. We often describe ourselves in terms such as "I am" followed by "messy", "smart", "lazy", "undisciplined" or whatever it may be. Self-recording can expose some of these self-perceptions as inaccurate – or too vague to be true or false.
Any self-perception needs to be backed by concrete observations. Suppose someone wants to be more "assertive". This doesn't specify what to change. Only assertive behaviors can be changed; for example, saying "no" to certain requests. Patience is another example. Patience itself can't be trained. What can be trained is how long someone is willing to wait for a large reward, than a smaller reward in a shorter time. The next step is to note the context in which the behavior of interest occurs (or fails to occur). It's unlikely that you have problems saying "no" everywhere, to everyone, and every time. There are probably specific people, with specific requests, in certain environments, where you struggle with saying "no". Similarly, you may be used to waiting a long time for good things in some situations, but not in others.
Careful attention to concrete examples and context helps you identify things that can be changed. It can also end up making a mockery of any personality test you may have taken. Abstract and context-free self-descriptions are at best over-simplifications. At worst, they are fictions (which some people use to torture themselves on a daily basis).
Merely trying to remember the exact behavior and context is not a good strategy. Memory is selective, deteriorates with time, and can be influenced by our mood. Sometimes we even unconsciously fill in the blanks based on background expectations. When recalling images from a road trip in New Zealand, I've caught myself 'remembering' the car being on the right-hand side of the road. New Zealanders drive on the left-hand side. This false memory is likely due to having grown up with cars driving on the right side. Negative self-conceptions may also rush in to fill the gaps where you don't remember the context that might explain your behavior. For example, procrastination might be explained away as "lack of self-discipline". These fictions deprive you of the opportunity to analyze the incentives and constraints that were present at the time.