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Two weeks ago, on a saturday night, my wife and I decided to go to a festival at our local park, not knowing what kind of festival it was. After dinner we looked at each other in that “what are we going to do tonight” kind of way, I’m sure you know it well, if you’re married too. Little did we know that we were going to head to a massive religious Team Jesus festival. We’re talking 5-10,000 sitting on the grass drinking mate and eating Asado (Argentinian Barbecue) while listening to religious preachers, gospel music, and, to my surprise, a Calvin Harris like DJ dropping beats. The only difference being- I didn’t meet this DJ in the summer, I met him that Saturday night, sitting on the park grass. If I could go back a decade to tell a 19 year old me: “In 10 years from now, you are going to go out on a saturday night, spontaneously with your wife, to a religious festival featuring gospel music and religious preachers, AND, you are going to be perfectly fine with it. That same 19 year old atheist me, would roll his eyes in disbelief and laugh me out the room. As a kid, brought up in a very non religious Denmark, to whom the yearly church visit for the Christmas mass, was my idea of hell on earth, it seems unfathomable that I’m now a 29 year old man with a fairly close relationship to God. Whatever that even means. How did I end up here? ### **My Atheist Life and Upbringing** I am rebellious by nature. I absolutely despise the notion of anyone dictating how I have to live my life, telling me what I have to think. Having to console the Bible for the answer to all my dilemmas still, to this day, seems ridiculous to me. I mean, who swears by any book to such a degree that they would blindly turn to it, for consultation on every issue in their life? I used to be one of those annoying atheists who completely dismisses the existence of anything, but their own mind and consciousness. I used to say things like: “Religion is a tool for brainwashing, manipulation and the cause of all evil in the world” and “Religion creates wars not inner peace.” Uhh, and my personal favourite atheist line: “If a God really does exist, then why is there so much evil in this world?” I’m sure you’ve heard these lines rattled off before– or maybe you, yourself spew such sentences, from time to time? Well let me tell you, they are all very convincing one-liner arguments, to a rebellious young man like me. So how did I come to “see the light" as they say? ### **What is God?** Over the past decade of travelling the world I have come to realisation, that God isn’t this construct of the Bible or the Quran or whatever flavour of holy script you subscribe to. You know, this all-seeing creator of life itself, who judges every single decision I make. God, to me, is this inexplicable energy between me and the universe at large. God is this ever present energy which we all feel, but can’t quite put our finger on. It’s the energy that drives me to create, everyday– the energy that made me sit down to write this. It just feels right, like a calling– like I must write this story. That same energy made you read this. God is me. God is you. God is in everything and everyone you see around you. We are all mere images of God because we all create life where there previously was none. And we do it every single day, 24/7, all day every day. Have you ever experienced the feeling that someone you’d never met showed up in your life, for a brief moment, to deliver you a message, a piece of advice or a nudge in the right direction? As if someone had sent them specifically to you? As if someone was listening to your thoughts? Let me tell you– I have had many such experiences in my life. ### **When I Met God** Let me give you an example. The year is 2018. It is early April. I’m sitting in a hostel patio in Buenos Aires, a cigarette in one hand and a one litre Quilmes beer in the other. I’m in disarray–split in my mind and with seemingly no goal to pursue. I had been travelling for about a year. I had originally set out, with the goal of finding somewhere in South America, where I’d like to live for a few years, while becoming fluent at Spanish. But during my travels I had lost sight of my originally stated goal. I had instead come to think that I would go back to Denmark and study photojournalism. I had even bought a ticket back to Denmark. That’s why I was in Buenos Aires, to catch my flight back to Denmark in a couple of days. I know, what the hell was I thinking?... A few months earlier during Carnival 2018 in La Paz, Bolivia, I had met the most interesting, gorgeous local Bolivian girl. She had showed me around La Paz everyday for the two weeks I was there. We talked for hours on end, at cafes, restaurants, and, at night, in bars or at viewpoints across the city. I would walk her home every night, or that is to say–as close as she would let me get to her door. She didn’t want her family to see us together–not yet. After I left La Paz to keep on travelling, we stayed in contact. We would text each other at least every other day. She was clearly interested, so was I. As I sat in this hostel patio in Buenos Aires, I got to know Marco, a Venezuelan man in his 40's, who had recently escaped the horror show that is Maduro’s Venezuela, in search of a better life in Argentina. One night, over many beers and plenty of cigarettes, I layed out my situation to Marco. I told him, I was in disarray– that I didn’t know what to do? Should I give up my original plan of living in South America and learning Spanish, to go home and study? What about the girl? I couldn’t take my mind off of her. Marco lit a cigarette, leaned forward, and looked me in the eyes. It was at this moment he said exactly what I had been thinking all the previous days. He said ”Son, isn’t it obvious what you have to do? I see you texting this girl everyday. She is interested, and so are you. You said you planned to stay and live in South America. If you are serious about that plan, then get your ass on the next bus back to Bolivia and figure out how you can live there”. [Leave a comment](https://pilgartexplores.substack.com/p/how-travelling-brought-me-closer/comments) ### **I am God. You are God** It felt as if Marco had been sent to that hostel, all the way from Venezuela, just for me. To tell me what I needed to hear and stear me back on track–towards my stated plan. The plan I had told the universe, or God, when I had left Denmark. Marco was an extension of God, presenting himself in my life for 5 days that April in Buenos Aires. The next day I went to Recreo, the central bus station in Buenos Aires. I ordered a ticket for the next bus to Bolivia. A few days later I arrived back in La Paz, as a surprise to the girl. For the whole trip, I thought about what to say to her when I saw her again. I told her: “You are going to be my girlfriend” she smiled and said “Lets see about that”. We have been together ever since. She is now my wife. She is an extension of God in my life, just as I am an extension of God in hers. Marco is one of many examples of where a person I hadn’t known previously has carried an important lesson for me. Most of the time the lessons are good, sometimes they are hard lessons. What all the lessons have in common is: they are always lessons that have presented themselves to me, through that inexplicable energy between me and the universe at large. Lessons born out of my own stated will to God. I am God. You are God. We are all God. We all create our own lives.